美國作家Emily Perl Kingsley於1987年寫下這篇作品
身為唐氏症孩子的母親，同時也是兒童唐式症的研究專家。
寫下他對於人生計畫驟變的感觸
———————–
準備生兒育女的感覺，
像是安排一趟美妙的度假旅程—
去義大利。
你買了好幾本旅遊書，
開始構思你完美的計畫：
羅馬競技場、米開蘭基羅大衛像、
威尼斯貢多拉……
也許你還學了幾句常用的義大利文，
一切讓你興奮不已。
殷切期待幾個月後，
出發的日子終於到了。
你打包行囊，興沖沖出門。
幾小時候飛機降落，
空服員對大家說：「歡迎蒞臨荷蘭。」
「荷蘭？！」你大驚：
「怎麼變成荷蘭？我訂的是義大利耶！
我應該在義大利才對。
去義大利是我這輩子的夢想……」
可是飛行計畫改了。
他們已經在荷蘭降落，
你非待在這裡不可。
重點是：他們沒有把你帶到
什麼恐怖、噁心、骯髒的地方，
這裡沒有瘟疫、飢荒或疾病，
只是跟義大利不一樣而已。
所以你只好下機，買幾本新旅遊書，
重新學另一種語言。
你也會遇到
以前從沒遇過、完全不一樣的人。
這裡只是跟義大利不一樣而已。
步調比義大利慢，時尚不如意大利炫。
可是待了一陣子之後，
你停下腳步，看看四周……
你開始注意到荷蘭有風車……
荷蘭有鬱金香，荷蘭甚至有林布蘭。
不過，
你認識的每一個人都去過義大利……
他們也老愛吹噓在那裏玩得多盡興，
而你下半輩子都會說：
「對啊，我本來也要去的，
都計畫好了。」
沒去成義大利的痛
會永遠、永遠、永遠、永遠跟著你……
因為這個夢想破碎
帶來的失落感很大、很大。
可是……你如果把人生
拿來哀嘆沒有去成義大利，
你也許永遠無法自在享受
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this…
When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”
“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”
But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away…because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.
But…if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things… about Holland.
c. 1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.